Merry Meet and Happy Weekend Family and Friends!
As the parent of two 13 year olds, I have discovered a phenomenon that I wanted to share. I believe it may very well be instrumental in establishing the lines of communication with your children. Now, I must confess, there is no scientific data on which to base this phenomenon, as it is purely experiential.
That being said, I would highly recommend taking your kids out for sushi! Why sushi? I know, not everyone is a fan of raw fish and rice, and there may very well be other foods that work just as well, but from my own experience, there is definitely a substance in sushi that acts as a truth serum for my 13 year olds!
Allow me to explain. As parents, Ray and I feel that it's important to have dinner together as a family every evening, if at all possible. Sadly for many, hectic schedules have made this a thing of the past. On the weekends however, when neither of us wants to cook, we'll often go out for sushi. It's probably one of the only things we will ever all agree on!
About the time the second sushi roll is served, the kids are well into describing events of their day. Kyla will often initiate this with some amusing anecdote involving her friends or something that happened in school. Justin usually sits quietly eating his sushi, testing the waters only after Kyla's revelations have sufficiently shocked us into submission.
We've heard their views on everything from teen pregnancy, bisexuality (apparently in vogue these days), homosexuality and drug use amongst their Middle School peers, to the more mundane topics such as TV, music artists and movies. Apparently, Megan Fox is considered "smokin' hot" amongst both sexes, while Justin Bieber's music causes bouts of nausea in the same. Thus far, I've discovered two very important things about my kids and myself. I actually agree with them about Megan and Justin, but more importantly, they are far more mature and know more stuff than I did at their age! And..now I also know what's been keeping me up at night! That's one more thing than I ever wanted to know!!
Now, I am absolutely THRILLED that my kids have this level of respect and trust in us as parents to have allowed even a glimpse into their Worlds. Still, there was a time, long, long ago, that I actually considered myself...unshockable!
Oh, and might I suggest ordering a drink or two with dinner or perhaps bringing a bottle of your favorite Sake. Believe me, you will definitely be grateful for having taken the edge off by the time dessert has arrived and you might actually, ya know, sleep.
In Darkness, Light!
Tracy
6 comments:
Trust me, the "open door" policy will serve you so much better than the "don't ask, don't tell" one! You may not want to know everything - but it will help them immesurably if they believe they can talk to you and you won't freak out.
Perhaps your local sushi place will give you a deal on your massive Sake consumption.
Oh Rue, tell me about freaking out! My husband agrees with you completely!
The morning after one of our sushi expeditions, I woke up Ray in a panic and said, "Ray, I'm completely buggin! Please tell me last night was all a bad dream!" He said, "No, but, if you freak out, they will never tell you anything! Then said exactly what you have, "Trust me, you'll like this a whole lot better".
I'm hopeful!
that is great T. Going out as a family and discussing things goes a long way.
I was divorced so tommy and I were very close. I got into his world and he got into mine. We even listened to the same music and sometimes went to the same concerts!
Keep it up because those years of change are coming up soon. And todays world is scary. Even though we were close he DID surprise me with a few bad things!!
trust between parents and kids is pretty special - like a butterfly landing on one's nose...
What a lovely analogy!
I wish my kids were as subtle as a butterfly landing on one's nose!
lol! I have to agree with sushi! It is the best food ever and good food leads to good relationships....most of the time lol!
Me and my mom were always quite open... There were some things that we didnt discuss with each other... but when it came right down to it... I know that our open mother daughter relationship saved me from a lot of crap. I have never done drugs, never smoked (not that its comparible to acid say :P ) and My first drink was in a public restraunt at the age of 16 and I stopped at 1. I put it down to communication and you seem like you are doing AWESOME!
keep it up !
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