Are You Turned On Yet?

Beltane Blessings, my Beloveds!

I wanted to talk a little about something that most people tend to ignore.  Intuition.  That little inner voice that tells us when we are about to fuck up.  Ooops, outside voice.

I know you all know what I mean.  You're thinking about doing something.  You have this nagging feeling that it's not the right thing, but...it's not consistent with that "other" thing you really, really want to do...so you ignore it!

I can't tell you how many times my "Inner Bell" went off as a warning about situations and/or relationships and instead of following it, I decided that I was just being neurotic and danced happily into hell!

We humans are creatures of emotional complexity.  We've evolved into a species that chooses intellect over instinct.  We lust after people and things that can destroy us, and indulge in behaviors that can lead to our untimely demise, simply because we can't resist not to.  And we will come up with every reason under the Moon and Stars to justify our decision.

This being said, it's very difficult to listen to a little disembodied voice in our heads.  It's often suggested that people who talk to themselves are crazy...but, I think the true madness lies in not listening to ourselves.

From a Witch's standpoint, developing one's intuition is a crucial element in a successful practice. My best advice is to start small.  Our egos have an uncanny knack for interfering with our instincts, so begin by practicing with things that will cause the least amount of damage.  You're driving home, you always make a right at a certain intersection, but instead, today you feel you should make a left, try it. But, if you have $30 to your name till pay day and something is telling you to indulge in $300 gift for yourself, that's your ego talking.  Tell it to "shut the fuck up!"  Oooops, outside voice!

I do most of my best work when I work solely on gut instinct.  The Internet is great if you are just beginning this journey and need a general idea, but I tend to not follow those recommendations.  You are using someone else's suggestion for work you are doing for yourself.  It's your work! Perfect it!

Try this.  The next time you are considering doing work, quiet your mind. and focus on exactly what you want to achieve. What is your purpose and intent?  Ask yourself the question, "how do I make this happen?" I find that I will get bursts of inspiration in which every ounce of my being screams, "Yes, yes, yes!"  Kind of like a psychic orgasm!   I might mull over things for a few days or longer if needed and over that time, things change, evolve and gain more clarity  I might decide a black candle would work better than a red, carving something in mirror script (the way writing appears in a mirror's reflection) would work better than writing on parchment, burning something rather than burying it, (although burning shit is, ya know, always fun), etc.  Often, by the time I'm actually ready to do the work, I am absolutely certain of what I need to do and I can "feel" it, rather than just "know" it.   If however, you are standing at your altar or where ever the work is taking place and suddenly something doesn't feel right or you think it needs a little something, listen to the little voice in your head!  Ferfuxsake! Ooops, outside voice :)

Oh and most importantly, when you meet that person you distrust at first sight? The worst thing you can do is assume you're wrong!

In Darkness, Light!



Tracy

Frenemies and Other Teachers.

Blessings on this Spring Morning, My Beloveds!

So, I've found myself in a conundrum which I've encountered many times in this life and I've despised it every single time!

It began in grade school with, "if you're "so and so's" friend, you can't be mine! "Why?", being the obvious question.  The answer was simple, "Because "I" don't like her".  It didn't matter whether I knew this person well or whether I had a reason to dislike them, this was the unofficial "Rule of Friendship."

I was a very shy kid growing up and because of this, I didn't make friends easily, so for me, this was the Kiss of Death.  It filled my little anxious heart with dread!  Why did I have to choose?  Why did I have to lose a friend to keep a friend? Why was I being asked to treat someone unfairly because of the opinion of others?  Why would I think this is the kind of thing that fades with childhood....

Recently, I had considered attending the Hexfest conference in New Orleans.  The presenters are some of the very best I could imagine being assembled in one place.  The organizers of the conference, Christian Day and Brian Cain, notorious in their own right, apparently have offended some within my immediate community. Who knew?! This was the first time I was hearing of this and at this writing, still do not have many of the details of the same.  What I do know was that some of my friends were unhappy with my decision and discouraged me from supporting the event.

Again,  I was back in grade school.  Do I know Christian Day or Brian Cain?  I know of them. I've heard rumblings within the Wiccan community about them.  I visited Christian's shops in Salem and New Orleans. I belong to both Brian's and Christian's groups on Facebook.  I don't know enough about either to offer a valid  personal opinion of either of them.  What I do know is that they've organized a conference with a kick ass line up of very experienced and highly respected teachers.  If you know my level of passion for this Path, you know this is all I need to know.

Tell me, if Gerald Gardner were one of the presenters, you wouldn't put personal opinions aside and go? Something tells me you're not so sure! :)

What does one do in this situation?  Of course, I want to be loyal to those I consider family.  It upsets me to think that anyone would do something to hurt them.   Still, isn't this a little like cutting off my nose to spite my face?  Of course, I could not go and earn the respect of those that are near and dear to my heart.  But, then I also give up the opportunity to learn from some very gifted people, whom I also truly admire and with whom there is no such issue.

It's kind of like the situation in which you find yourself when two beloved friends are divorcing.  Of course you love them both.  The last thing you want is to see their marriage end.  You've heard all the reasons for its demise, from both sides. Despite trying to convince yourself otherwise, you may have already decided whose fault it was that the marriage ended.  Often friends are divvied up like acquired personal possessions.  His side versus her side.  If you are truly a friend, your position is not one of judgement, but of healthy support of both.  You learn to put your personal judgments aside for them, as well as the sake of your relationship to them.

Things can get entirely too complicated when friendships collide.  It ultimately puts you in a position of choice or loss.  I believe people are put on our paths in this life for a reason, whether we dislike them or not, whether we agree with their opinions, their personal choices, etc.  They ultimately have something to teach us.  Don't believe me?  Think about the best and worst relationships in your life and what you learned from each.

In the end, we may not ever find the "perfect" interpersonal relationship balance, but in that imperfection, we might find the perfect teacher.

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

PS: Sadly, I couldn't swing Hexfest this year.  If someone would like to set up GoFundMe for next year entitled, "Send Tracy to HexFext 2016", it would be greatly appreciated!  :)

Sacred Circles or "Knot"

Blessed Morning, my Beloveds!

I was raised Catholic. Loosely raised, to say the very least, but Catholic all the same.  I went through all the sacraments from baptism to confirmation.  I was wed in a traditional Catholic ceremony. So how did I end up here, 20 years later, practicing Wicca?

When we are raised in the religious beliefs of our families, there is a gradual acceptance of what our beliefs should be.  Our parents may take us to church, as was true for me. We were taught about prayer, about God, most often, from a monotheistic perspective.  Our concept of whether we are spiritually fulfilled was more or less taken for granted.  We settled comfortably into the religious path chosen for us by our family.  What more can we ask for?

It's when those things, no matter how devout we are in our practices, don't meet our spiritual needs that we are thrown out of balance.  We may not even realize that this is the "something missing" from our lives.

Still, those beliefs that were handed down as part of our families heritage may be the hardest to leave behind, no matter how unfulfilled by them we may feel.  We may not have a problem with the religion we practice or the Deities we worship, per se.   We may feel a sense of loyalty and affection for them and yet, we feel overwhelmingly drawn to something that we can't quite explain.  For me, that something was Witchcraft.

That is not to say that this transition was an easy one.  I viewed my own "seeking" with a mixture of excitement and trepidation.  It's a strange feeling to be both absolutely certain and yet conflicted all at the same time.  Then there are the questions, "Don't you believe in God?", "Don't you love Jesus Christ?   These didn't only come from others, but from my conscience as well.  At that time, there were no clearly defined answers.  Yes, I believe in a Universal Divine, that is neither male or female, but has aspects of both. Yes, I have a deep affection and respect for Jesus Christ and his teachings, but that has absolutely nothing to do with Christianity.  I felt as if I was being "unfaithful" to my faith.  Holy crap! I was breaking #7 of the Ten Commandments!

Then I got over it :)

It happened one day as I grappled with these internal questions and conflicts. I asked for guidance, although, I wasn't entirely sure whom I was asking.  I was late driving to work that morning and as I rushed from my car, I noticed something on the pavement near the door. I didn't really have time to investigate further and had forgotten all about it as I began my day.  Later, as I approached my car, I realized it was still there.  It was a small black velvet mojo bag.  I picked it up and inside was a square silver medallion with the Triquetra embossed on it.

The Triquetra is a Celtic symbol that predates Christianity, but has been used by Christians to represent the Holy Trinity.  In Neopaganism, it is used to represent the Triple Goddess; Maiden, Mother and Crone.   It also is a symbol of life, death and rebirth.  

I felt as though I'd found my answer.  Until this writing, I never realized how accurate a message that was.

Having had a passion for root working for quite a while, I rely heavily on the Christian Saints, the Psalms and the Bible in my work.    As I become more connected with these practices, I realize the endless possibilities that the Deities offer us, in whatever form they take, when we don't limit them based on our  preconceived notions what we can or can not believe.  While the Triquetra  is considered a "knot", for me it's a symbol of life coming full circle.

No worries.  I'm not going to breaking into "The Circle of Life". :)

In Darkness, Light!



Tracy

Pagans.....

Blessed Frosty Morning, My Beloveds!

Recently, I've read some fairly derogatory comments posted about the Wiccan religion.  It's not like Wicca hasn't had it's fair share of negative reviews, but these are coming from within the magical community.

There are some who believe that Wiccans lack the ability to be taken seriously as practitioners. We're too light, too flowery, too fluffy.  I'm too amused.  I don't think anyone who knows me would describe me that way.

Apparently, if we aren't practicing Goetic magic, drawing on the Greater and Lesser Keys of Solomon and summoning demons to do our bidding, we are nothing more than amateurs.   Not to state the obvious, but Wicca is an Earth based religion that incorporates magic into its practice.  It is not, in and of itself, a magical practice.  Witchcraft is the practice of magic.  If you are part of the Pagan and/or Witchcraft practicing community, this is common knowledge.

Back in the day, Witchcraft was the practice of Shamans, herbalists and other medicine folk.  The Native Americans didn't use The Key of Solomon; their magic came from the Earth.  They developed a relationship with the land and their deities.

I've read some books on magic that, quite frankly, made my head hurt.  Not that they weren't interesting, to be sure. I love learning what others find to be successful in their practices, but at times I've come away with the feeling that the same could have been achieved with a lot less in terms of bells and whistles.  To be honest, I know many Witches who use a wide variety of magical techniques and find their practice no more or less effective than my own.  Magic is not exact science.
If you claim your practice of magic is more potent or successful than that practiced by anyone else...I call Bullshit!  I learned a great acronym recently, K.I.S.S. (Keep it short and simple).

I will say that there are some out there calling themselves Wiccan or Witches, who most definitely make complete and utter asses of themselves.  They reflect badly on the rest of us.  That said, is this not true of any other religion?  Well...is it?   Kirk Cameron and Tom Cruz come to mind.

I recently joined a Wicca/Witchcraft group on Facebook, in which this question was posed to it's members, "What is the first thing a new Witch should learn?" Some of the responses made me cringe! I read everything from smudging, to shielding, to casting a circle, to spell casting, creating a Book of Shadows.

The most prominent of answers were "The Threefold Law" and "The Wiccan Rede".  While I do believe that these are both important parts of our history, are they the "first" thing any new Witch needs to learn? Not.So.Much.

My personal opinion on both of these is simply this.  The "Threefold Law" is nothing more than the basic tenet reflected in almost every other religion, "Harm None", "Do Unto Others, "do naught unto others what you would not have them do unto you", "what goes around comes around".   I remember reading that this was Gerald Gardner's attempt to have a similar "Golden Rule" for the Wiccan religion and to appease the Christian's concerns about the growing interest in Witchcraft.  I don't believe magic, for good or bane, set forth into the World will return times three.  I do believe the Threefold Law was meant to be a lesson in common sense and integrity, It's definitely not the first thing one needs to learn as a Witch. It's the first thing one needs to learn as a Human Being.  The Wiccan Rede is a lesson in both the lore of the Craft. and personal responsibility. It's a lovely read. Still not the first thing someone new to the Craft needs to learn.

No, in my opinion, the first thing anyone who pursues this path needs to learn is "Know Thy Self". What do you hope to gain by becoming a "Witch/Wiccan?".  As with many who come into the Craft, is it something you were drawn to or are you rebelling against a parent, spouse or previously practiced religion?  Do you want to cast spells on people or imagine you can?  Or do you simply like the idea of referring to yourself as a Witch?  Be honest with yourself. I can tell you that if you enter into this Path for the right reasons, you will find fulfillment.  If not, you may be quite disenchanted.

Know your craft.  No, I don't mean how to cast a spell.  This is the last thing you should be focused at this stage of your "career".  Read!  Read everything!  Reading a book or two on Wicca will never make you Wiccan, anymore than reading a book or two on anything will make you a scholar.  Learn as much as you can and then you can apply your knowledge.

A true Witch doesn't just choose a title to wear on their sleeve, they strive to earn it.   Last most important thing to learn..Patience!

In Darkness, Light!



Tracy

The First of the Nine Satanic Sins is Stupidity...

And now you know why :)

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/02/pat-robertson-to-abhorrent-moms-covens-use-your-facebook-ultrasounds-to-curse-unborn-babies/

To Hex or Not to Hex..

That is the question!

Blessings my Beloveds!

The question, I'm afraid, has no simple answer.

I remember when I first began practicing, the thought of engaging in negative magic never even crossed my mind.  Wicca's basic tenet of "An It Harm None, Do As Ye Will" and the "Threefold Law" were as clear for me as the Ten Commandments are to any Christian.  You reap what you sow.

Let me say, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with either of these concepts, as long as you understand that not everyone follows them.  Greed, envy, jealousy, anger, in others, as well as ourselves, are all part of the human condition. For the most part, they are fleeting emotions that we deal with on a mundane level, without ill effects spilling over into our personal or magical lives.

If you are choosing to perform magic to effect change in your life, you are almost always emotionally vested in its outcome.  Witchcraft is an empowering and at times, emotionally volatile practice.

There are going to be those situations that push the limits of your ethical patience.  It's not a matter of if, but when this will happen.  A friend betrays a trust, you are accused of something you didn't do or someone threatens your family. You are not just angry, you're pissed beyond all definition of the word.   Your "normal" mundane reaction might include confronting your friend, defending your integrity or filing a restraining order to protect your family.  You choose to react magically and you bring "livid pissed" to a whole new level!

There are no "controls" in magic.  There are no absolute, predictable outcomes.  Magic follows the path of least resistance. It is a matter of will, purpose and intention.  If your intention is to cause harm, you better be prepared for the unexpected.  This is Witchcraft you are sending forth into the World.  A snarky comment on Facebook is not a good reason to use it! It's like opening the Pandora's Box of magical possibilities!

I am the last person you would ever hear lecturing on "Magical Ethics". To do so would prove me a raging hypocrite!  Patience is not one of my greatest virtues.  I have been known not only to bend the "Rule of Three" on a few occasions, but to break it in half, toss it into a cauldron and burn it...with little regret. The use of Witchcraft is a personal decision that can have serious and devastating implications if used recklessly.

Having said that, the Wiccan Rede, like the Bible is open to interpretation.  It is not intended to be taken so literally as to allow its "grey areas" to preclude you from protecting yourself from harm. It is meant to be a guide to personal responsibility.  If you feel threatened personally or psychically, it is your personal responsibility is to protect yourself and those that are important in your life.   Don't worry that you may be performing "Black Magic".  Magic is not defined by color, it's defined by the integrity of the practitioner.

Choose wisely, but never lay your power at the feet of another.

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

For your reading pleasure, I would suggest, "Protection and Reversal Magick (Beyond 101)" by Jason Miller.

How to Find A Coven

When the Teacher is Ready, the Student Appears!

Or visa versa...

Blessed Imbolc, my Beloveds!

So...where was I :)

I have taken on the task of inspiring and teaching new Witches!  You can find us on Witchvox under, "Circle of the Ancient Ways".  That said, this is not a shameless plug for our group, but a guide for those who find themselves drawn to this Path.

People are called to Wicca for many reasons.  For some, like myself, it was something that had been calling to me for as long as I can remember.  For others, it's a search for spirituality and community.  For many, it is an interest in the mystique and magic of Witchcraft.  These are all valid reasons, but the Craft, as I have come to know it, is not for everyone.

When I began practicing, some 20 years ago, I took some Wicca 101 classes and from that, a small eclectic group of dear friends began circling together. We called ourselves, "Circle of the Sacred Flame". It was a beautiful and inspiring beginning for me.  We practiced for a few years before we all went our separate ways, in love and trust.

I practiced as a solitary for a while, but missed the energy of circling with others.  After much meditation and research, I decided that I wanted to pursue a path in British Traditional Gardnerian Wicca.  I wanted to be a part of where it all began; with a direct lineage to the teachings of Gerald Gardner, the "Father of Wicca", as he has come to be known.  I was blessed to find a experienced High Priestess willing to take me on as a student, whose lineage is five degrees of separation from Gerald's own.  I have since become a 2* Initiate in that Tradition.  Admittedly, I am the "Black Sheep" of our Coven, a title I hold proudly.  :)

But enough about me....

I have had students come to me from different backgrounds, levels of experience and desires for wanting to learn.  I ultimately lose some students before or early into their training for one of the following reasons; they don't want to fill out the application, they are only interested in learning about specific aspects of Witchcraft, i.e. casting spells or divination, they realise how much work is actually involved or they learn that some formal covens do, in fact, practice skyclad, a.k.a. "clad by the sky" a.k.a. naked.   This is not true of our teaching group, we are robed, but this is the way many formal Gardnerians practice.  Just putting it out there.

Our application is short and sweet.  We don't want to know your life history, but we would like to learn little bit more about you.  If I am meeting you in person and you are going to share my home, I would like to to be secure in the knowledge that you are, at the very least, somewhat sane.  It's a small, but not unreasonable request.

If you are looking for a teaching group for the sole purpose of learning spell work or any other specific magical practice, you would definitely lose patience with ours very quickly.  Yes, we teach these things, but only after you have a working knowledge of Wicca and Witchcraft.  You need to know yourself and your Craft.  This can and often does, take years of study and practice.  Are there shortcuts?  Sure, you can pick up a spell book and hope for the best.  I must warn you though, even the most experienced Witch has fucked up even the most well thought out spell.  I know, I've done it.  Magic is kind of like making toast.  When it all goes well, it's delicious.  If you burn it...the scent can stay with you, at times, nauseatingly longer than you ever wanted it to.    

Then there is the dreaded "book list". I'll be honest, it's daunting! Our reading list is about 70 plus books long, give or take a book, and that's been modified since I began my training.   We hold classes, followed by ritual, once a month and give "homework" that needs to be completed.   I have had new students talk to me about Initiation a month or so into their training, only to tell me that they couldn't possibly "read all those books".  Sure, you can! Every Pagan I know loves to read!   If I can, and did, you can!  What wouldn't you do for that which you truly desire?

There is a saying that a student must train with a teacher for "a year and a day" before they are formally initiated.  I can tell you from experience, this almost never happens.  Consider this, when you are learning any  new or complex skill, how well do you actually know it in a year?  There is a reason why Witchcraft is referred to as an "Art".  Do think any of the truly great masters rushed their craft?

Ritual nudity. This the stuff that people are always wondering and whispering about.  "Do you dance naked in the forest?", I've been asked more times than I've ever wanted to in this life! No, but sometimes in my bedroom I do! Oooops, outside voice!  In all seriousness though, many people let their imaginations run wild with fantasies of us dancing around naked, having wild sexual orgies and worshipping Satan.  Cause' that's what Witches are supposed to do, isn't it?  Trust me, we never have that much fun!  If one does practice skyclad it is an expression of trust, not of sexuality. It is allowing those material things that we use to define ourselves to be stripped away.  It is finding strength in one's vulnerability, as well as freedom and beauty in one's own body. No ritual orgies...EVER, sorry.

"And as the sign that ye are truly free,
Ye shall be naked in your rites, both men
And women also: this shall last until
The last of your oppressors shall be dead"

.It is for the benefit of you as a prospective student to our group or any other, that you to do your research.  If you are curious about Wicca in general and are seeking the basics, look into Wicca 101 classes, attend some public rituals or attend some Pagan Pride festivals. Witchvox is your friend! If you are looking for training into a specific Wiccan Tradition whether it's Gardnerian, Alexandrian, Minoan, etc;  learn as much as you can about that Tradition.  Ask questions, be specific. Any true teacher of the Craft will answer you honestly. There are some things that may be oath bound, but there are also things you, as a student, need to be aware of before you dedicate yourself to this path.  The last thing you want to do is to diligently train with a group with the intention of being initiated into their formal coven, only to find that they practice skyclad.  You should not agree to or feel obligated to do something you do not feel entirely comfortable doing.  

I strongly encourage you to read the following Cult Danger Evaluation Frame by our beloved, Isaac Bonewits:

http://www.neopagan.net/ABCDEF.html

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

Yours,Mine,Ours...

Merry Christmas, my Beloveds!

Yes, I went there!  So, what's the big deal?  Well, for some...it's a HUGE deal!  It's politically incorrect to wish some people a Merry Christmas.  Many people don't celebrate Christmas, so the term, "Happy Holidays" was adopted.  But is that correct, really?  Aren't we just presuming that everyone who we wish this greeting upon is happy?  I know many people who don't find the holiday happy at all. It's filled with painful memories and/or grief.  And yet, it's appropriate at this time of year to bestow this greeting upon them, despite how they might feel about it.

This is true of the Pagan community as well.  At this time of year, we have the usual, albeit good-hearted and amusing, disagreement of the origins of Christmas.  Who's holiday was it first?  Well, some historians tell us that it was originally the Roman Pagan holiday of Saturnalia which was, admittedly, about 8 days of complete and utter debauchery.  I'm certain that's a lot funnier now, than it was then.  At some point however, the holiday was Christianized to include the Pagan holiday, and the birth of Christ was celebrated on December 25th as Christmas.  The rest is and should be history, but it's not.

I am not a scholar on the origins of Christmas.  Yes, I know it's origins were Pagan, but more than that, I have not a rat's ass to give.   Pagans celebrate Yule at the Winter Solstice on the 21st of December.  We have a Christmas tree and a visit from Santa at our Yule celebration.  Our Clan children, who are being raised by Pagan parents, are excitedly awaiting a visit from Santa on Christmas morning, just as are most Christian children.  On Christmas morning, many of us wish our friends, Pagan, Christian, Jewish, etc., a "Merry Christmas".  Is it "politically incorrect?'  In my opinion, it's the intention and sentiment that matters, not by what words you choose to deliver the well wishes.

Despite popular belief, Pagans are not "anti-Christ" or anti-Christmas".  Many of us incorporate the Christmas holiday into our Pagan lives out of respect for our Christian family members, respect for Deity or just because it's the Season O' Joy! Dammit!

Let's face it, no matter when, where or for whom the holiday is celebrated, one can not deny the magic of the Season.  It's the Return of the Light, both literally and spiritually.  It's the time when family and friends draw closer, people treat each other a little kinder and are more thankful for what they have and for those in our lives.

So, who's holiday is it?  It belongs to the heart whom it touches.

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy
    

Every Little Thing You Do Shouldn't Be Magic!

Merry Meet and Yuletide Blessings, My Beloveds!

I often get emails from people asking for magic.  What can I say?  It's an occupational hazard!  Often I don't really mind.  I figure if someone is contacting a stranger for help, they must really be in need.  Having said that, I do not routinely do magic for people I don't know.  The most I will offer is a very basic suggestion as to what they might do for themselves, but from there, they are on their own.  There are tons of people on the Internet who will be more than willing to do magic for you, for a price. Not all are reputable.  

So, what's wrong with a little well intentioned help? Most of the time, nothing at all.  Unless, someone becomes a magical addict. By that I mean, they cease to seek mundane solutions to any of their life's problems and look for a magical fix to everything.  They don't need Witchery, they need therapy!

One of the first things one learns about magic is that it is not meant to replace mundane solutions to one's problems.  For example, you need a job.  The first thing you do is spruce up your resume, then send it out to every job lead that seems promising, then go on a ton of interviews, then maybe, if one of those jobs seems like the one you really want, that would be the time to do some spell work to help things along.  Does this guarantee that you'll get the job? If you were meant to, perhaps....but there are no guarantees in life or in magic.

Oh...and throwing the kitchen sink into a magical working does not mean it's going to work any better or that you'll see results any faster.  Neither will doing numerous different spells for the same thing.  All you're doing is pulling the focus and energy away from your original goal and making it less effective.  I've seen some of the best spells take virtually years to work!

Magic also takes years of study and practice.  It's not something that one can learn or teach overnight. Just because you pick up a spell book and decide magic is the way to go, doesn't mean it's going to go as you had planned.  You certainly shouldn't even be attempting to do work for other people. Trust me, I've seen things go horribly wrong when they aren't well thought out.  Magic has tons of variables that effect it.  Purpose, Intention, Will, Focus, Specifics, the experience of the practitioner, just to name but a few.

One of the things I'm asked most often and usually with the most sarcasm, is "do you really believe that stuff works?" There was a time, even after I'd begun practicing, that I was unsure of my answer.  Now, I can answer with an uneqivocal, resounding,  "YES!".  And make no mistake, that's not always a good thing!

Magic is often used for the betterment of our lives, the lives of family, friends and community.  All those are good things.  Magic isn't meant to be a crutch to avoid facing unpleasant life situations or difficult people.  The reason why these people and situations are put on our life's path is because they have something we are meant to learn from them. It may be a challenge, but not necessarily an obstacle.

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

Witch or Warlock? What's in a Name?

A LOT...apparently!

Recently, I got into heated debate on Facebook with a long time friend about the use of the word, "Witch", Wicca, Tradition and Sexism.

It began when I shared this photo without realizing that the original poster had included the following comment:

"To answer many questions from men - yes, you too can be a Witch. And, NO you are not called Warlocks! If you don't like the word Witch then use Pagan or Spiritual. BB Raven"   

This oversight on my part, began a 3 day long debate about the use of the term Witch, as opposed to Warlock, which ultimately ended our friendship.  Admittedly, I am saddened.

You see, my friend refers to himself as a Warlock.  So when he read my post suggesting that male Witches are NOT called Warlocks, he became offended because he believed I was being sexist and insensitive by endorsing the original posters comments, which was simply not the case.

warlock (n.) 

Old English wærloga "traitor, liar, enemy," from wær "faith, a compact" (cf. Old High German wara "truth," Old Norse varar "solemn promise, vow;" see very; cf. also Varangian) + agent noun related to leogan "to lie" (see lie (v.1)).

Original primary sense seems to have been "oath-breaker;" given special application to the devil (c.1000), but also used of giants and cannibals. Meaning "one in league with the devil" is recorded from c.1300. Ending in -ck and meaning "male equivalent of a witch" (1560s) are from Scottish.

 

I refer to myself both as a Wiccan, Witch and at times, a Pagan, if I don't want to get into a lengthy explanation of the first two.  The noun, "Witch" in our tradition, as well as in many other traditions, is a gender neutral word which is perfectly acceptable to describe what we do. Warlock is not used as commonly as the word "Witch".  Yet, it's a perfectly fine word to define one's self.  The current definition of the word, Warlock" is "a man who practices the Black Arts".  Now, it was opined that "Black Arts" refers to "any magic using tradition".  Well, that's interesting.  I practice a "magic using tradition" and yet, even if I wanted to, with all my little heart, I could not call myself a "Warlock".  Why?  NO PENIS!  Still, I don't consider "Warlock" a sexist word. When I think of a Warlock, I imagine a powerful practitioner who isn't afraid to venture where many Witches dare to go.

witch (n.) 

Old English wicce "female magician, sorceress," in later use especially "a woman supposed to have dealings with the devil or evil spirits and to be able by their cooperation to perform supernatural acts," fem. of Old English wicca "sorcerer, wizard, man who practices witchcraft or magic," from verb wiccian "to practice witchcraft" (cf. Low German wikken, wicken "to use witchcraft," wikker, wicker "soothsayer"). 

When I refer to "our tradition", I'm referring to British Tradition Gardnerian Wicca. Gardnerian Wicca is a tradition whose members can trace their lineage back to Gerald Gardner and is the oldest tradition in the United States. Gerald Gardner founded Wicca some 60 years ago and since then, many different traditions have evolved. It is an oath-bound, initiatory tradition.

Admittedly, there are certain aspects of this tradition, that depending upon the male ego, will not sit well.
Firstly, a man can not run a Coven without a female counterpart. The polarity between the High Priestess and High Priest completes the balance of power.  The men are not referred to as Warlocks, they are called Witches. And, the hand that holds the sword casts the circle and that hand belongs to the High Priestess.

It was then my friend's opinion, that Wicca is a feminist, sexist religion with a female supremacist philosophy, that "minimizes or excludes male spirituality entirely".  Men find themselves following a Wiccan path not for the spiritual fulfillment, but because they are seeking female acceptance and don't mind being emasculated by having to adopt a female noun. That "noun", of course, being "Witch". The men who practice Wicca are   damaged and wounded, are looking for "anything" to fulfill the spiritual void left by Christianity and who don't mind being subordinated. They are "Last Among Equals" and will accept that, because they have no choice not to. To paraphrase,Wicca can be "therapeutic" for people who have been "emotionally and physically traumatized over the years and that's the main reason for getting into religion".

The first group I ever practiced with was an eclectic group which was run by our High Priest.  At this time, I know at least three Covens that are led by men.  So, when I hear all this negativity put forth about my religion,  I can't help but wonder how I missed all these spiritually unfulfilled, damaged, wounded, emasculated men for the past 20 years.

Wicca is a feminine based religion. No one has ever denied that. There are more women practicing Wicca than men.  The female to male ratio is difficult to determine, because not all Wiccans are open regarding their beliefs. That said, if so many men were being forced into taking a spiritual backseat or were being emasculated by being "forced to adopt a female noun", wouldn't there be a lot more Warlocks and a lot less men practicing Wicca?   Furthermore, if there are so many damaged, wounded and emasculated men looking for anything in terms of spirituality, there are a lot more religions that require as lot less work and devotion than what it takes to practice British Tradition Gardnerian Wicca.  Being an initiatory tradition, it takes years of study and training. For me, much of that training has come from sitting at the feet of men who exude spirituality, who are powerful practitioners and who understand that using a noun, male or female, does not define them.

Let's talk a little bit about tradition, shall we? Tradition by definition, is the passing down of elements of culture and beliefs from generation to generation.  The same is true of British Tradition Gardnerian Wicca. We adhere to beliefs that have been passed down by Gerald Gardner to his initiates.  His initiates, both male and female, are Witches. So when someone argues that they are being "forced to adopt a feminine noun" in order to practice Gardnerian Wicca, what they are actually saying is that they should be allowed to break with tradition, for the sake of ego.

It's like this...suppose I wanted to join the military.  I go to the recruiting office and tell them I want to serve in the armed forces.  It's always been my dream to be a fighter pilot.  The recruiter tells me that if my passion is flying, I would be perfect for a career in the Air Force.  No, no, no! My father, grand-father, great grandfather and my mother's father, all served in the Navy, it's a family tradition and I want to follow in their footsteps!  I want to join the Navy! But I can't. Why? Because they pilot boats in the Navy, not planes! Can I really claim discrimination because the Navy refuses to break with tradition? Furfuxsake!

My friend pointed out that my experience is limited to private groups, as compared to his own which includes being a public figure who works "countless" events in a large metropolitan area.  He left traditional Witchcraft because he did not wish to be, "last among equals".

Now I may not have his years of experience, nor have I worked with large public audiences, but I have never left traditional Witchcraft.  My experience lies in the fact that I am a 2nd degree initiate of British Tradition Gardnerian Wicca, with a Clan that spans most of the East Coast and a far away as Brazil, so I think I have a tad more insight into the awesome men who are proud to refer to themselves as "Witches".  

In Darkness, Light,


Tracy

Mediums, Necromancers, Sorcerers! Oh My!

Merry Meet and Blessings of the New Year, my Beloveds!

Due to twists and turns of fate in this crazy journey we call life, I have been remiss in my writing.  I have just now found the time to sit down and actually put my thoughts into words that I can share.

What I'd like to talk about is religious intolerance.  As history teaches us, more blood is spilled as a result of the "my God is better than yours" mentality.  You would have thought we would have evolved to a reasonable degree of acceptance by now, but alas...nooooooo!

Recently, I had the pleasure of being "unfriended" by someone on Facebook for this very reason.  Initially, I had no problem with reading this individual's daily Bible verses, until they took a decidedly darker turn.  It began with a post suggesting that those of us who practice Reiki were doing "Satan's work".  I was initially amused, but as these types of posts became increasingly more frequent, I found them more distasteful.

I was immediately struck by the irony unfolding before my very eyes   You see, this woman claims to be a Psychic/Medium.  If you are familiar with the Bible, you know that there are various passages suggesting that, mediumship, divination, communicating with the spirit world and sorcery is an abomination.

Levitcus 19:31  “Do not turn to mediums or necromancers; do not seek them out, and so make yourselves unclean by them: I am the LORD your God."

OH LORD! Ok, so now I found myself in a conundrum.  I could either ignore the "Fire and Brimstone" posts on my wall, unfriend her or confront it head on.  Oh yeah...I went there!

I wrote her and asked how she reconciled her "gifts" with what the Bible states about consulting mediums.  Her response was the same as I've heard from a few mediums, "most mediums get their messages from Satan.  Mine comes from God!"  Ok, let me say that I do believe the ability to channel spirit is divinely inspired. Theresa Caputo, the "Long Island Medium" made a similar statement about her gifts, but acknowledged that this is in direct conflict with what the Bible states about mediums.   For the record, I LOVE Theresa.

Well, I thought that confronting her own hypocrisy might prompt her to rethink her future posts, but it didn't stop there.   The list of Satan inspired work was expanded to include, Wicca, Witches, spell-casting, divinations, etc.

Now, my list of friends include many Wiccans, Witches, Reiki Practitioners, at least a couple of Satanists, as well as many who know and respect my beliefs and practices.  She was now not just disrespecting me, but those whom I hold close to my heart.    

I could have simply unfriended her...problem solved.  However, I believe most of the greatest religious conflicts are based in fear and misconception, so instead I thought a "teaching moment" might be in order. I explained the basic tenet of Wicca is "An It Harm None, Do What Ye Will". I explained that as Wiccans, we don't recognize the existence of Satan and to give evil a name, gives it power.   I shared that many times spell-work includes healing for ourselves and our community.  I told her that I am often asked, by Christians, to do work on their behalf and when I do, I call upon Jesus Christ to assist me.  

There are those who choose to remain woefully ignorant and once again, she pulled the "God" card.  She said, she couldn't be held responsible for her posts because the messages were not from her, but were from God.  Before I could respond, she unfriended me and deleted my comments.

Recently, I received a copy of her newsletter which included her website with a list of her paid services which include, private readings, phone readings, house clearings, as well as the events at which she will be appearing.  I opted to unsubscribe for the following reason:

Reason: A "gift from God" should not include the perversion of his messages. I do not wish to receive emails from one who spreads intolerance of the beliefs of the others. Messages of 

intolerance are not divinely given".   

At last check, God didn't accept Paypal, Mastercard, Visa and Amex!

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

The Dis-Enchanted Oracle

So, I came across this interview with Fantasy Artist, Jessica Galbreth on Facebook.  Apparently, after years of sharing her amazing images of beautiful winged Fairies, Goddesses and Vampires, she has decided that these talents were the result of "demonic possession".  Demons?  Really?

If you watch the interview in it's entirety, you will learn that Jessica became interested in the occult at an early age, experimenting with the Oujia board and Tarot cards, which ultimately led to the creation of her own, Enchanted Oracle Tarot deck and apparently, her demonic possession.  She even considered herself a Witch! :::Gasp:::

Gee, me too!  I grew up in a family that was very open in terms of it's acceptance of the paranormal.  We played with the Oujia board, held seances and read whatever books were available at the time on Witchcraft, Satanism, ghosts, hauntings and paranormal phenomenon,.  And yet, we considered ourselves a Christian family.  By this I mean, we were baptized, received communion and confirmation, celebrated Christmas and Easter and if we were so inspired, actually attended church on those occasions, didn't eat meat on Fridays and fasted during Lent.  We believed in God and for us, that was enough.

Delving into the "dark side" was scary and fun.  However, when presented with the fact that we really didn't know who we were inviting in during our Oujia Board dabbling sessions and seances....our parents pulled the plug on our connection to the other side and the Oujia board ended up collecting dust in the attic. 

It didn't stop me from eventually leaving behind my Christian upbringing to follow a Wiccan path.  Do I believe that this is the result of "demonic influences" left over from my "dabbling" phase?  Hell no! (pun intended). It was due to the fact that I had found a religious Path that resonated with me and where I found spiritual fulfillment.  I don't hate Jesus.  I don't hate Christians.   I simply believe that there is a spiritual path for everyone and one will ultimately know it when they find it.

Jessica says that her realization came when her daughter became frightened by her images.  Well, lots of things frighten little kids.  Dolls used to scare the shit out of me and I'm not entirely sure that they still don't. She also said that she felt as if a dark cloud was hanging over her.   According to the CDC, that "dark cloud" might be depression, which strikes 1 in every 10 adults.  I would begin there before I began blaming Satan's minions for the fact that I was not entirely thrilled with my life.  Even the most successful people find themselves dissatisfied with their lives, Winston Churchill, Vincent Van Gogh, Michelangelo, Edgar Allen Poe, just to name a few.  It kind of goes hand and hand with the whole depression thing.   Jessica also claims she felt "prideful".  Really?  Well I can't imagine why?   I wonder if she considered being proud of her accomplishments a sin before or after she was reborn? 

The way we find and embrace spirituality in our lives is uniquely personal.  No two people, even when sharing the same religious belief system, will experience Deity in the same way.  At times, the religious path which we inherited from our parents is enough for us and we feel no need to look any further.  Or, like myself, one finds no connection to the Path handed down to them and they seek spiritual fulfillment elsewhere.  That doesn't mean that there was something wrong my previous beliefs. It simply means that Deity had chosen connect to me in a way that I would understand and embrace.  A spiritual rebirth, in the purest sense of the word, shouldn't include the prompt condemnation of the Path one left behind.  In that case you've only succeeded in being reborn into a more hypocritical version of yourself.
 
All this being said, I find it regretful, if not a bit amusing, that Jessica now considers her talent, "Satanic" and all her successes demonically inspired. And yet, she is still able to create in a very similiar style, except now, with a more angelic, Christian influence?  Well...after all,  Lucifer was an angel once too and Satan is referred to as "The Great Deceiver".  Just sayin..

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

Dear Dead People....

Merry Meet Again, my Beloveds!

I'm having serious issues with dead people. 

Allow me to explain.  Dead people are now sending messages either to me or through me in ways they never have before and I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that!

If you've read my last entry, you know that my friend, Roy went to great lengths  to send a message to his fiance, Michelle from beyond the veil.  It was my pleasure and honor to help in whatever way necessary.

This morning, I received another message from my friend, Tommy, that I hadn't been expecting.

Tommy had a bigger than life persona.  He was, physically, the most beautiful man I have ever known.  His personality ran the gamut of every aspect one's soul could possess.  He was wildly impulsive, kind, incredibly funny and cruel. He depised Mayonaisse!  He displayed a child-like innocence, while exuding undeniable sexuality.  He loved to be the center of attention and it was virtually impossible not to notice when he entered a room.  Both men and women were enchanted by him.

Tommy and I became friends while working out at the local gym.  Our friendship grew when he pushed me to do "one more rep, you candy ass!"  I didn't even know this man, but knew we would soon be good friends.

Several years ago, Tommy decided to move back to Georgia. I was saddened by his choice to relocate, but knew that he would never be happy here in New Jersey. We never lost touch after his departure, but these days people don't talk, they text or update their status.  That was until this past January when Tommy's cell phone began to "butt dial" me on a daily basis.  He left me a  text message apologizing for the same and asked me to call him, which I did. We chatted for a while, catching up on what had been going on in our lives, but hadn't spoken since.

For the past couple of weeks, I have thought about Tommy often.  So often so that it prompted me to visit his Facebook page today to see what had been going on in his life.  Well, I believe Tommy wanted me to know what had been going on as well.  He passed away suddenly 4 months ago...my heart was broken..

Tommy shared with me things that troubled him since childhood and in doing so, always left me with the image of a heartbroken little boy with full pouty lips and sad eyes that was perpetually looking for someone to take care of him and yet, he would often push away those who loved him most.

Was I surprised to learn of his passing. Not so much. Tommy always played hard. He was fulfilling his dream of making a name for himself in the music business and lived a "Rock Star" lifestyle.

If anyone had the energy it takes to cross the veil it was Tommy.  I truly believe that he knew if he  reminded me enough of things about our friendship that I couldn't ignore, I would learn that he had chosen to leave this World behind far too soon.  

Seriously, T...couldn't you have just called!  

In Darkness, Light...

Tracy

Life Sucks? Blame A Witch!

Merry Meet and Happy Weekend Blessings, my Beloveds!!!

So, not so long ago I was asked by someone if our Coven had cast a spell on them because they had been experiencing a string of bad luck. 

My response was simple.  "No, we wouldn't do that.  The Universe works to keep things in balance".

What I actually wanted to say was, "No, we wouldn't do that!  But perhaps if your life didn't consist of anger, hatred, jealousy, cruelty to those weaker than yourself and random acts of douchebaggery, you might understand why it has chosen to treat you in kind". Of course, I didn't say that.

That being said, I do believe the Universe and/or the Gods keep things in balance, just not in the way one might think.    

Have you ever known a person so negative that they can suck the life out of a room just by entering it?  It's very uncomfortable just being in their company.  If, like the rain, you stand in it too long, you'll find yourself drenched by it.   So is true of those who shine.  The brilliance of their energy shines so that they draw everyone to them.

Not all who experience tragedy or hardship are responsible for bringing it into their lives.  I've seen the most horrendous things happen to the most beautiful of people.  It's difficult to understand or accept.  I've found the most comforting explanation is that this is a necessary part of the soul's journey.  One must live through, process and move past the experience in order to learn and grow from it. 

I believe that there are people however, who find it impossible to "move past" their most difficult life experiences.  They hold on to their anger, grief, fear or insecurities and allow them to color who they are and in turn, their entire existence.  In essence, they literally become their worst nightmare. 

We all grieve our losses, no matter how great or small those losses are.  Some are easier to move past than others.  But when one can find no plausible explanation for the unexplainable, they may look to place blame where none can exist.   You can't blame death on the dying.  Well, perhaps you can...but to what end?  Physical death is finite, so too will be one's grief should the appropriate help not be sought to work through the pain. 

Yet while grief may be a reasonable explanation for negative emotions, there are those who dance precariously through life behaving with reckless disregard for the way their actions impact on others, only to find themselves dumbfounded when an avalanche of shit falls upon them.   And their first inclination is to look elsewhere to place blame....with the exception, of course, being the mirror.

Ah...but the mirror is the one place we can't escape, can we? The gift of ourselves we share with others, for better or worse, comes not from our reflection, but from our soul, the seat of who we are.  We can dress up that image that looks back from the mirror, but inside we are unchanged.  This alone, for some.....should make for many a sleepless night.

And just when you thought a Witch's spell was to blame your misfortune....

Pleasant Dreams!


In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

 

Love Beyond The Veil...

Merry Meet My Beloveds!

How have you been? Yes, I know...it's been a while since we chatted, but my life has taken  on some odd twists and turns and I've only now sat down to take a breath!  :::Inhale....Exhaaaale:::

Ah that's better!!!

So, this weekend I've met with a startling revelation!  That being, that the dead are capable of using you like a  cheap hooker when they need to get a message to someone they love!  Allow me to explain...

A little over a year ago, I learned via Facebook that an acquaintance of ours was seriously ill.  I use the word, "acquaintance" because I can't, in all honesty, say that Roy and I knew each other very well.  We had mutual friends and attended a few events together, but sadly we never had the opportunity to become close friends.  What I did know of Roy was that he was a joyful, fun loving person, who had found his soul mate in his fiance', Michelle.

That being said, upon learning of his illness, I wrote to Roy to tell him how saddened I was to hear of his misfortune.  He asked that I not share the details of his illness, as he only wanted positive energy being sent his way.  He also asked that we keep he and Michelle in our thoughts. I was more than happy to oblige.

I heard very little from Roy afterwards, with the exception  a few of his progress updates and the the lovely, albeit bittersweet photos of he and Michelle's wedding.  My heart broke for them. Roy was diagnosed with lung cancer and his prognosis was terminal. A short time later I learned that Roy had passed away. 

Michelle wrote me to tell me that a celebration of Roy's life was going to take place in the Spring and that Roy would have wanted us to be there.  Strange, I thought...given that Roy hadn't really known us very well.

Michelle emailed me again when the plans were finalized and for reasons that were unclear to me at the time, I felt compelled to be there.  But why?  Surely there were others that knew Roy much better than my husband and I that would be more appropriate participants in a celebrate of his life? 

As uncharacteristic of me as it was (I've never been a fan of dead people), I knew, with absolutely certainty that on May 5th at 1 p.m., there was only one place I was meant to be!

As we drove to the ceremony, I mentioned to my husband how important it was that I be here.  His response was simple, "then you should be."

Oh Roy, you dead people are so much better at this than I ever expected!


When we arrived and upon seeing Michelle, I was almost immediately overcome by emotion.  There were tables arranged with photos of Roy as he enjoyed this life.  He was always smiling!  The center of the hall was set up with a beautiful Native American altar that consisted of an equal armed cross constructed of stones. Suddenly, I knew that I had something that I needed to add to the altar. 

I rummaged through my bag until I found a small, white heart shaped stone that I had been carrying with me for years.  I sought out Michelle and asked if she'd mind if I lay it on the altar with the others. Her response was simple..."a heart", she said with a smile.

It was then she told me that Roy had always teased her about her ability to see hearts in everything...in the clouds, the trees, etc.  If there was a heart, Michelle would find it.  Suddenly, I understood why was so important that I be there to celebrate Roy's life.  Roy had a message for his soul mate and I believe he knew that I would understand why it needed to be given to her in a way only she would understand.  
And undertand I did.  When my sister passed away, I asked her to send me a sign that she was ok. I asked her for something very specific, that only I would know. A heart shaped stone. Within minutes, it was there, lying at my feet.  I have carried it with me ever since.  The stone I placed on the altar celebrating Roy's life was exactly like one I found on beach after my sister's passing.  As with my sister, Roy had sent his message of love to Michelle  from beyond the veil.

As the celebration drew to a close...Michelle shared something that made the occasion even more poignant.  This would have been their first year's wedding anniversary.

Roy, thank you for this blessed gift.  It meant more to me than words can say.   Don't worry....we'll take care of  her.

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

In the Still of the Moment....

Merry Meet and Blessed New Year Family and Friends!


So here we stand, poised at the precipice of a New Year….2012. The Mayans believe this will mark the end of time as we know it.

And I don’t doubt this to be true, although not so much in its literal sense. I think there are profound changes taking place on an astral level that one can sense if they can allow themselves the time to be still and quiet their minds. There is a quickening in the vibration of the Universe. Many are feeling a pull toward a more spiritual existence. I, personally, feel a need to return to a much simpler, less stressful life, even if that means sacrificing the material pleasures that I’ve come to enjoy. After all is said and done, these hold no true value in the big flat screen, high definition, 3-D picture of things, but are merely illusions of happiness that satisfy a momentary desire. Surely they don’t represent a path to spiritual contentment.

The last three months of this year, while more prosperous, have been more stressful than I’d anticipated as well. I find myself experiencing life in glimpses, rather embracing those moments that should be savored. Still, I’ve been trying to appreciate these moments as they come, in smaller ways. Driving to work just as dawn is breaking and watch the sunrise in breathtaking colors that leave me whispering….”Oh God”, snuggling with my dog when I should be rushing to begin my day and dancing as often as I can muster the energy.

These are the kind of things that I never want to experience in a glimpse, but in a state of soul shaking, wide-eyed wonderment that fills my heart with more joy than anything money can buy. The promise that I make to myself in this New Year, should ya know, the Mayan prophesies actually fail to come to pass, is to embrace those moments every day that touch my soul.

For you, I wish more of those moments than you ever dreamed possible.

In Darkness, Light!

Tracy

Finding Myself

Merry Meet Family and Friends!

Ok, so where have I been?

Well, all I can say is that the Gods definitely have a sense of humor.

In the past 6 months, I have changed jobs 3 times.  How is that possible in this economy, you ask?  Magick!

I've recently taken a full-time job after having worked part-time for the past 8 years.  The best I can say is that the money is good and I'm gleaning some useful new skills.  The worst I can say is that I feel disconnected from those things that, up until now, I had enjoyed more than I ever realized.  

You see, I hadn't really been unhappy with my previous employment.  I actually enjoyed what I was doing, the hours worked well for myself and my family, and it paid well by today's standards.  So, why did I want to leave so badly?  Well, it was a family run business and the family in question operated at a level of dysfunctionality that created a constant exodus of well qualifed and hard working employees.  I had been looking for a job for the last two years and if you've been unemployed in this economy, you know that the job market has been...in a word, pitiful.  I began doing magick to move things along... 

And move I did!  Not once, not twice, but three times!  However, none of them suited me and after the third time, which by the way, isn't always the "charm", I realized why.  I broke one of the cardinal rules of magick..."be specific!" and of common sense, "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is".

You see, magick works very, very well.  At times, a little too well. If it weren't so, none of us would subject ourselves to the sideward glances and snickering encountered when one learns that we practice the fine art of Witchery.

Here are a few examples of just how well......

I have always loved Victorian homes.  I remembered wondering if I'd ever have the opportunity to own one.  Well, over this past Summer, we had a beloved friend who is a master carpenter, build us a storage shed in our backyard.  It's absolutely fabulous!  As I toiled in the Midsummer's heat, staining our new shed, our friend turned to me and said, "Wow, it looks just like a Victorian house!  And he was right! I'd gotten exactly what I asked for! I had just failed to mentioned that I wanted a Victorian home that I could, oh I don't know...actually live in!   I looked towards the heavens murmuring, "Seriously?!  You guys are just too funny!"

I also remembered thinking how much I'd love to own waterfront property.

And we were hit with Hurricane Irene....

Needless to say, it was less amusing the second time around!

So, you would think I would have learned something from all this?  Well, I believe I have...but as I mentioned the Gods definitely have a sense of humor, not to mention having job skills that include being detail oriented to degree that far exceeds anything the human mind might comprehend.  They are Gods, after all!

So recently, when I began, once again, working to find suitable employment, I felt confident that I was specific enough that I left nothing open to interpretation. 

I simply wanted a great job, that paid well, with great benefits, close to my home.

Well, I was thrilled when I was presented with a job offer from a company that has a reputation for excellence, offers great benefits, that almost always hires from within and with all the specifications I'd asked for!!!

However, as I reveled in my good fortune, I overlooked a few details that should have sent up red flags.  I was told at my interview that there had been "some problems".  My interpretation of this was that those problems had since been resolved and that I was walking into a better situation.  I had also been told that my boss could be "difficult".  Given that I've spent most of my life working in the field of medicine, I've learned that anyone who's job includes holding another's health and well-being in their hands, often possesses a Type A personality.   However, "difficult" should have a included, "intolerant of human error".   That being said, medicine is definitely a field where human error can have vast implications, so I didn't perceive this to be a deal breaker.   I also didn't realize that my coworker was crazier than a bag of rats, worked 10+ hour days and that when she need time off, I needed to do the same.  All this being said, it still wasn't the worst decision I've ever made. 

The worst decision I made was taking for granted those things that for me...are priceless.  Having the time to watch the birds in my birdfeeder, sit down to leisurely read a book or write, garden, spend time with my furry companions and sleep past 5 a.m.

Perhaps I'm being unreasonable.  I should be happy that I am gainfully employed in this economy...and I am.  I would just be happier if I had added two little words to my request....

"Part-Time"

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

Farewell, Irene!

Merry Meet Family and Friends!

Unless you live on another planet or in another country, you know that the United States east coast was hit by Hurricane Irene. It was a Category II hurricane that made land fall in North Carolina before making its way up the coast. By the time it hit us here in New Jersey, it was a Category I.

What one must realize is that we are not accustomed to our storms being large enough to be categorized. We get thunderstorms or an occasional tropical storm, which I personally find exhilarating, but nothing like this. The last hurricane I can remember was Hurricane Floyd in 1999, which seemed to pale by comparison.

I must confess, I was a little nervous, but felt certain we were well prepared. I had enough candles to light up the entire Village of Ridgewood on a good day, bottled water, flashlights, batteries, pet food, charged cell phones, ice filled coolers. I sat down with a nice glass of wine and waited for Lady Irene to make her entrance.

It began as gentle rain just before I went to bed and I considered the possibility that the media had probably hyped up the storm like they do every other “weather event”. I woke at about 1:30 a.m. to sound of driving rain and winds that were so strong I felt certain that our windows would implode.  And then we lost power. Now, I was no longer a little nervous…I was scared shitless! We all stayed awake until dawn.

As the sky began to lighten, making the situation feel a lot less ominous, my main concern was whether I’d be able to find the manual can opener so that we could feed the dogs and my French press, so that I wouldn’t die and/or become homicidal without my morning coffee. I manage to do both and neither with little effort.

I looked out the window, happy to see that there didn’t appear to be any more damage than one would find with your typical “bad” Jersey storm. There were a few tree branches in the yard, but nothing significant. The patio furniture and the potted plants on our deck were all relatively undisturbed. My rose bushes, that had been ferociously whipped around by the wind the night before, were perfectly secured to their trellises, and had beautiful buds just beginning to bloom. “Pfffttt, Hurricane Irene”, I thought to myself. I knew it was all “hype”.   Still, it was very windy and raining pretty hard, but I wasn’t worried. The worst seemed to be over and the meteorologists were reporting that by mid afternoon, the skies would clear and it would be a beautiful day!

I was peacefully sipping my coffee and thinking to myself that all we needed now was the power to go back on and Hurricane Irene would be a distant memory, when I glanced out our patio doors to see the backyard rapidly filling up with murky brown water! I screamed on the top of my lungs for my sleeping husband, as if he would be able to do something to stop it and watched as muddy water rose around our newly built shed and began swallowing most of our lawn! I was struck with an overwhelming sense of panic, but not for fear that our house would become flood ravaged.

You see, we have a fairly large, well established Koi pond in our yard. I’ve been caring for these fish for the past six or more years. These aren’t your common goldfish, but imported Japanese Koi, some of whom hatched in the pond and have grown to about a foot in length. And while I can’t say I feel the same way about them that I do my other pets, they are living beings and have brought both great joy and aggravation to my life….just like my kids!

That being said, over the years, I have had a recurrent nightmare of watching flood waters overtaking  the yard, flowing over the top of the Koi pond and seeing all the fish swim out into the muddy water, gasping for breath before dying on the grass. Oh.My.God! It’s awful!!!

I was in tears as I watched the water nearing my pond and realized that my nightmares were about to become a reality!

My mind was racing….there had to be something I could do, but what? I didn’t have anything large enough to hold all 22 fish and even if I did, how would I catch them all?!

Seeing how distraught I was, the kids did their best to comfort me, “get over it, Mom! They’re friggin’ fish!”

Still, I haven’t been practicing Witchcraft this long to back down from a challenge! And I certainly wasn’t going to stand by and just allow this to happen! There’s only “nothing” you can do, if you choose to do nothing!”

I ran out into the deluge and screamed on the top of my lungs, “Cut me a fucking break!!!”, which did absolutely nothing.

I ran back into the house and advised my husband that we needed to begin sandbagging the pond with the extra bags of mulch we had bought. He patiently explained that a few bags of mulch were not going to hold back that much water and that I needed to just “calm down”. Oh yeah, like that was really going to happen! I felt ill! And yes, I know they’re only fish…but they’re my fucking fish!!!

Then things got really weird…

I had recently downloaded a Ghost Hunting app on my IPod that comes with an EVP player. An EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) device monitors voice transmissions from the other side. I had been listening to mine just before the flood hit and had forgotten to turn it off.  As I finally began to resign myself to the fact that my backyard was going to end up being the World’s largest Koi pond, I heard my EVP player say the word, “offering” and suddenly, I knew exactly what I needed to do!

I grabbed a bottle of Jamison Whiskey out of the liquor cabinet and ran down the steps to the backyard. The water was about 4 feet deep in most of the yard and had reached the bottom step of our deck, a mere foot or so from the pond. I poured three shots of Jamison into the muddy water.

I ran back in from the pouring rain, completely drenched and passed by my husband while holding a bottle of whiskey. My husband asked, “what the hell are you doing?” Without answering, I ran to the medicine cabinet and grabbed one of the lancets that my father in law had used to test his blood sugar and ran back outside. I’m certain my husband thought that surely I’d gone mad, but if he hasn’t figured that out after 25 years, whose fault is it?

I pierced my finger and watched as three tiny drops of my blood mingled with the rushing murky water.

Then, I held my breath and waited.

We did sustain some significant damage, although have been truly blessed in comparison to what others have lost. The flood waters stopped three inches from the pond and have since receded. The fishies are just fine!

In Darkness, Light!



Tracy

                                        




My fishes are in there!!!!