It's' Autumn!!!

Merry Meet All!!!

So, you're probably thinking..."uh, yeah...we know it's Autumn!" Buncha smart asses! I know it's Autumn too! I'm not talking about the season! Dammit!

This is a photo of "my" Autumn. She is the beautiful painted lady that we adopted as a rescue last fall. All our kid's friends call her "The Halloween Kitty" because of her black and orange markings.

I found her curled up in a cage at PetSmart. I couldn't really see her face behind the glass, but I just knew I had to bring her home. My husband assured me that we were not getting another cat. I assured him that he was wrong. After a week of intolerable haranguing on her behalf, I went back and got her.

Every morning she sits on my lap watching me read my e-mail and together, we spend "quality cat time." She gets a kick out of watching my fingers as I type and yesterday, she decided to take matters into her own hands, or paws as it were.

I was going through my "useless saved mail folder" and I came a upon something I had saved from long ago. As I scrolled down the letter, I found myself recalling the reason why I saved it in the first place. At that moment, Autumn moved her little paw and hit the delete key. I was about to scold her, when she looked at up at me with this quizzical expression, as if to say, "why are you saving this?"

I was actually taken aback by the look on her face and responded, "yeah, I was thinking the same thing!"

In darkness, light!!!


Autumn!

Getting in the Spirit...

Photo courtesy of the Spirits in the Cemetary at Salem, MA and by me!


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Merry Meet and Greetings Friends and Lurkers:

Ok, so those of you who actually know me, know I'm absolutely nuts by now. I don't mean my usual state of madness, but that little extra insanity that creeps up on me around this time of the year. No, it's not that I'm so enamoured with the beautiful fall leaves or the fact that several places here were hit with snow yesterday. I begin to think about "better dealing" New Jersey as soon as the temps drop below 70 degrees, so a few snowflakes just don't do it for me. So what has induced my current state of euphoria??? And no, it's not the Lexapro! It's...come on, you can say it, I already know! It's...ah yes, Halloween!

As a kid, I always adored Halloween. What kid doesn't, right? But, it wasn't just the excitement of costumes, the candy or the decorations, but an underlying sense that something in the atmosphere was beginning to change. The chocolate was just a perk!

Since then however, Halloween has taken on an entirely different meaning me. For myself, as well as many Pagans, it's also known as Samhain (prounounced Sow'un). On our Wheel of the Year, it's the time of the final harvest, when we reap what we have sown throughout the year, both personally and agriculturally. It's commonly referred to as the Witch's New Year. It marks the dark half of the year when the Earth begins it's slumber until Yule (December 21st), when the light returns. It is also the time when the veil between ours and the spirit world is the thinnest, so for many, Samhain is the time when we honor our ancestors and loved ones on the other side.

This Samhain is particularly significant for me on so many levels. One of the most exciting being the Annual Witches' Ball this Friday night! This is a charity event that we lend our support to every year. I'm thrilled that the proceeds will be donated to a local animal shelter. It did pose a bit of a dilemma for me however. The date of this year's event coincided with the Samhain ritual that was to be celebrated by our own group, Anahata Wiccan Grove. Well, as much as I wanted to be with my own group on Samhain (last year's was particularly meaningful), I also didn't want to miss the Witches' Ball! Dammit! So many people wrote me last year to tell me how awesome it was, I just had to be there! So, on behalf of myself, as well as all the homeless puppies and kittens in the shelter, I pleaded and whined and we came to mutually agreeable solution. This year, Anahata Wiccan Grove will be celebrating our Samhain ritual with everyone at the Witches' Ball!!!! Our own Deborah Lipp, author and High Priestess and our High Priest, Dave, will be officiating with myself and the other members of our group participating. It's going to be a beautiful, sacred ritual dedicated to our ancestors with a slammin' party afterwards!!! I'm so friggin psyched, I could burst!!!!

All this being said, I've again had the sense of something quite different in the air. It's that same oddly calming feeling that I could never quite put my finger on as a kid. This morning, as I sipped my coffee and watched the leaves swirling in spirals around my garden, it finally hit me and I knew what it was!

I feel dead people!!!


In darkness, light!!!


Tracy


I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity" ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Dr. Erica Hahn & Dr. Callie Torres

Merry Meet and Welcome Friends and Lurkers!

If you're a fan of Grey's Anatomy then you already know I'm referring to Dr. Erica Hahn (Brook Smith) and Dr. Callie Torres O'Malley (Sara Ramirez). And, if you're a fan of Grey's Anatomy, you also know that Dr. Callie Torres and Dr. Erica Hahn are involved in a budding lesbian relationship. Callie isn't actually a full-fledged lesbian, she's well...actually kind of bisexual. She had been married to Dr. George O'Malley (T.R. Knight) who, in actuality, is gay.

Ok, so you're probably wondering what's with the recap of Grey's Anatomy? Well, I gotta tell ya, I found the latest episode of the show...well, disturbing. Well, not so much. It wasn't the actual episode itself that was disturbing, but my reaction to it.

Allow me to explain. I am not one of these people who believe homosexuality is an anomaly. I believe that just as I was born a female heterosexual without having any choice in the matter, so were homosexuals born into their own sexuality for the very same reason. I think the notion that we are products of our "environment" or upbringing is complete and utter bullshit. That said, I have many friends and family members of various sexual orientations and I am completely comfortable with their relationships. I make no distinctions between their relationships with their lovers or significant others than to that of my friends who are in heterosexual relationships. I find their displays of affection just as tender and beautiful as any other couple in love. In essence, if they have found happiness, then I'm happy for them and it's all good.

During the most recent episode of Grey's Anatomy, Dr. Callie Torres and Dr. Erica Hahn had shared their first lesbian experience. Apparently Callie was not at all thrilled with it and told Erica that she wasn't interested in a repeat performance. Erica looked...crushed! Callie then decides to incorporate the expertise of her sexually experienced, fairly gorgeous male co-star, Dr. Mark Sloan a.k.a. Dr. McSteamy (Eric Dane) to teach her the finer points of....well, what she described as "going South". It wasn't that her first experience with Dr. Erica Hahn wasn't good for her, she just didn't believe she was good at it! In the next scene, she walks in on Dr. McSteamy, who is attempting to sleep in the on-call room and tells him in no uncertain terms to teach her what he knows. He's totally agreeable and instructs her to "take off your pants". It was all good for me thus far. The end of the show however, finds an obviously now more experienced Dr. Callie Torres walking in on Dr. Erica Hahn, casting a seductive glance over her and instructing her to "take off your pants". I gotta tell ya, I was repulsed!!!! But now I was concerned as well! Why was I was repulsed? "Was I becoming a raging homophobe", I wondered? How could this be?? I must confess, I've seen lesbian porn before and I found it quite....McSteamy!!! Well, that was Thursday and it bothered me all the way until last evening, when I finally put a finger on my reaction (no pun intended)

At dinner, I was discussing this with my husband, Ray who agreed that this reaction was totally unlike me! I am a naturally very affectionate person and I don't discriminate by gender. If a female friend, of whatever sexual preference, is stroking my hair, gives me a hug or snuggles with me on the sofa, I enjoy it just as much as if it were a male friend. I am...an equal opportunity schmoozer! So, I found this uncharacteristic behavior completely disconcerting!

Well, as I was played the scene over and over in my mind... I had an epiphany!!!! No, in fact, a revelation!!! The reason why I was so turn off was because...I do not find Dr. Erica Hahn at all sexually attractive!!!! (Sorry, Erica) I turned to my husband and said, "Ray, I finally figured out why Grey's Anatomy freaked me out so much!!!" "Yeah, why?", he asked through a mouth full of sushi. I replied, "Dr. Erica Hahn doesn't turn me on!!!"

Sushi Dinner $75

Look on Ray's face: Priceless.

In darkness, light!!!


Tracy

Freudian Slips...

Merry Meet Friends and Lurkers!

Ok, so over the years, I have seen a wonderful therapist. She's a great lady whom I credit with getting me through some of the more difficult times in my life. One of the things I love most about her is that she doesn't follow the classical Freudian approach to therapy. By this I mean that some therapists will act as a "blank page" for their patients, allowing them to spill there hearts out while they take notes, but without offering anything in the way of advice.. What I like about my therapist is that she will actually react when something I tell her surprises her. So I know that if something I say elicits her "Oh.My.God" response, then the situation or person whom I'm describing is probably more fucked up than I thought and that she is just validating what I'd already suspected.

All this being said, several years ago, I lost several of my immediate family in an very short period of time. It was unquestionably one of the darkest periods of my life and even the best therapist in the world wasn't going to make dealing with it any easier. I admit, I didn't make it any easier on myself either. I was adamant that the grief was something that I needed to work through on my own. When someone close to you dies, you're supposed to be depressed, dammit!!!! For this reason, I vetoed any suggestion of medication. I saw absolutely no reason to have my mood "chemically enhanced", unless I had a guarantee that it would be something I would enjoy! And most of those things are illegal! I knew my therapist wasn't one to push medications and so if she was suggesting it, I knew she was concerned. I told her I'd consider it, if it would make her feel better. Yeah, I know how weird that sounds. She was relieved, but since I agreed to consider it, I would need to make an appointment with the psychiatrist in her practice since she was not authorized to prescribe medications. Before I could weasel my way out of it, she set up the appointment for me! I must have looked a lot worse than I actually felt!

On the day of appointment with my new "psychiatrist", I remember thinking how much less nuts I actually felt before I made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. I knew it was probably due to all the stigma surrounding mental illness, but that didn't make me feel any more sane. So now I'm getting into the elevator to go to his office and chastising myself for getting myself into this. I was NOT going to agree to any medications anyway, so I felt badly about wasting his time and my money! I was so preoccupied with my weaseling, that I never noticed the awesome man who happened to be sharing the same elevator. I didn't notice him, in fact, until he held the door for me. I wondered if he might be a patient, but then as I sat down in the waiting room, he walked through the door marked "Doctor's Office". After a few minutes, the door opened and there he was, this tall, dark, well dressed, gorgeous man with an accent that could melt the Siberian Tundra. "Tracy, I'm Dr. Z, please come in". If I was in a better frame of mind, my mood would have been immediately "enhanced", but instead I found myself thinking, "this is not my life!" Maybe I was more depressed than I thought!

So, now I sit down across from him. He had this lock of dark hair that fell across his forehead and he was wearing a funky tie that completely contrasted his beautiful suit and oh yeah, that accent! Funky tie not withstanding, I couldn't help thinking he would probably look better naked! Hey, it was a testament of my mental health and..at least I admit it! He began questioning me about what brought me to his office, how I'd been feeling and what he could do to help. A loaded question, at best! Obviously, a psychiatrist is someone you should be able to share the most intimate details of your life. I, on the other hand, found myself completely and uncharacteristically, tongue tied! How could I share anything personal with this man? He was maddeningly cute! But, at $250 for 45 minutes, I had to tell him something!!! I figured I'd blush less and appear a lot less crazy if I just stuck to the basic facts. I told him, "I'm here because my therapist is concerned about my well-being. She thinks I should consider an "anti-depressant."

Then it began..a sort of witty exchange. "Do you think you need an anti-depressant? To which I replied, "I don't know, do you?" "Do you exercise excessively?" My reply, "What do you consider excessive?" "Can I drink wine with an anti-depressant?" "Do you drink a lot of wine?" "Red or white? And what do you consider a lot?" Well, to make a long story short, we ended our first session laughing and talking about our favorite sushi restaurants. It was lighthearted, enjoyable and the best part, I actually did feel better. When my husband asked how my appointment went, I flashed a prescription for Lexapro, described Dr. Z and our session. He said , " That's just great! $250 and you talked about sushi?" Needless to say, he was not amused.

Well, after months of contemplation, I finally did take the Lexapro, which turned out to be one of the best decisions I'd ever made. And I still see Dr. Z about once a year, just make sure I'm still relatively sane and see if he's tried any new sushi places. Ok, I'm lying! At my recent appointment however, and after years of seeing him, I finally decided I should share something that I never told him before and so I told him I'm Pagan. I never had any reason not to tell him, it just never came up in conversation, but this was definitely as best a time as any to share. Well, he was in a word...shocked! I was blatantly amused! He's even better looking when he's shocked! He wanted details! "How long have you been Wiccan?" "What does your family think about this?" "How do reconcile your Christian upbringing" "What holidays to you celebrate?" "So you're a.....Witch?" :::insert seriously cute Russian accent::: "I want to know more of this Wicca!" I'm not sure if I approve of this Wicca!" And then the question I knew was coming, "Do you really believe you're a Witch?' To which I replied, "Um...I practice Witchcraft. What do you think that makes me?" Then, as he jotted down notes in his little book, he looked up and said, "Well Tracy, I find this absolutely :::insert really long pause::: fascinating! But, are there any other secrets you've kept from your psychiatrist?" Well...Doc...now that you mention it...


In darkness, light!



Tracy

In the Corners of My Mind...

Merry Meet Friends and Lurkers:

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you remember the weirdest things?

Last night, lying in bed, I remembered a boy I knew from High School. He was one of these cute, funny, cocky guys with an over-inflated ego, who only dated the A List girls, but who thought he could have anyone he wanted. This guy was what we now commonly refer to as a "player". He definitely had a reputation that preceded him and trust me, from a female perspective, it wasn't all good! I had been well informed beforehand, so I wasn't at all interested in anything more than his friendship and even that was stretching it. As it turned out however, his best friend was dating my best friend, so we ended up in each other's company quite often. We'd go on these "unofficial" double dates, which were really "undates" because we weren't dating. That said, we did become pretty close friends.

Well, one day when we were alone, he confided, "You know, Tracy, there's this girl I really like, but you know...I can't go out with her". I was like, "oooooh, really, is it anyone I know?". He laughed and he said, "Yeah, you know her". Remember, we'd become pretty tight, so I knew all the girls he was interested in or dated (and there were plenty), but I couldn't guess who it might be. Then, with this utterly remorseful look in his eyes, he said, "Tracy, I really, really like you, but I can't go out with you. It would ruin my reputation". Well, you would think I'd be insulted, but what I was, in fact, was amused! So amused in fact that I laughed in his face! Needless to say, he was mortified!!! And then really, really angry!!! So angry in fact that he actually tried to convince his big sister to kick my ass!!!! She didn't of course, but it did make the entire situation a lot more dramatic! Well, you would think our friendship would have ended at that moment, but instead he pursued me for months afterwards! His best friend told me he was heartbroken! No, what he was, was shallow beyond words! Thinking back on it now, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to youth. Hopefully, he eventually matured enough to realize that he ended a great friendship just to preserve a "reputation" that wasn't all that to begin with.

But now, I couldn't help but wonder...well, firstly, whatever happened to him and secondly, what would make me think of this after all these years? I have my suspicions, but what I believe it comes down to is this. Karma! Ya see, probably a year or so before, I too completely annihilated a relationship with someone I truly cared for and for no other reason than that I was afraid of what others might think of me. I admit it, I was a little shit! This person was very important to me, so age was no excuse for behaving badly! Fortunately, in one of the weirdest twists of fate I've yet to encounter, this year, some 30 years later, I was actually able to apologize to that person for having hurt them. Hopefully he realizes my apology was indeed heartfelt and knows how much he actually meant to me both then and now, as a friend, but I digress.

There are people who expend all their time and energy just trying to keep up the appearance of who they've convinced the outside world that they are. They are so concerned with outward appearances that they'll go out of their way to avoid any possibility of...oh I don't know, actually being themselves. Despite the consequences, they'll break ties, end relationships, ruin friendships, all to protect their "reputation". But, in the end, it's all an illusion. We all have to look in the mirror of fate at some point. It's then that we can review our lives, decide if we like what we see or where we fucked up, and hopefully try to change it. Or at least, that's what I chose to do. In the end "reputation" means so very little if it means hurting people that you truly care for or that care for you.

I guess what I'm getting at is this. For me, it was more important to take that leap of faith, no matter how long it had been and no matter what the consequences, than to have that person forever think of me as a "little shit". That said, I may still be a little shit...but now, I'm a little shit without regret.

In darkness, light!



Tracy

Oh No He Didn't!

Merry Meet Friends and Lurkers:

I listen to 1010 WINS, whom I swear are reporting things not only because they are news worthy, but for the sheer entertainment value. (see my archived entry on the death of Paul Newman and you'll understand what I mean). Having said that, if I had to report the same friggin' news every 20 minutes, 24 hours a day, I'd be looking for ways to amuse myself too!

Yesterday afternoon, they were broadcasting an interview with George W., who was talking about the economic bail out plan. Well, he attempted to use the word "financier", a word which was obviously too complicated for his limited vocabulary and instead, pronounced it, "fee-nan-sor." "Feenansor?" But wait, isn't this guy supposed to be a graduate of both Harvard and Yale??? And his grandfather, Prescott Bush, was a Wall Street financier! WTF!!!!

John Montone, who reports for 1010 WINS, promptly jumped on the flub by saying, "I believe the President meant to say "financier".

Yeah, John, we know, too late, it was already friggin' funny!

Know what's even funnier????

We voted this idiot into the White House, not once, but twice!!

Well, actually......I didn't. Just sayin' }:)

In darkness, light!


Tracy

The Halloween Witch

Photo by "Me"

Merry Meet Friends and Lurkers:

A friend of mine posted this on her website (Thank you, Prissy) In reading it, I was struck with profound sadness when I realized that this could quite possibly be an accurate account of how the classical Halloween Witch came to be. This actually happened, folks. Both women and men endured this kind of appalling treatment in the name of...well, all that was "Holy". It's an interesting read for the open-minded.

The Halloween Witch

Each year they parade her about, the traditional Halloween Witch. Misshapen green face, stringy scraps of hair, a toothless mouth beneath her deformed nose. Gnarled knobby fingers twisted into a claw protracting from a bent and twisted torso that lurches about on wobbly legs. Most think this abject image to be the creation of aprejudiced mind or merely a Halloween caricature. I disagree, I believe this to be how Witches were really seen. Consider that most Witches were women, were abducted in the night, and smuggled into dungeons or prisons under the secrecy of darkness to be presented by light of day as a confessed Witch. Few if any saw a frightened normal looking woman being dragged into a secret room filled with instruments of torture, to be questioned until she confessed to anything suggested to her and to give names or what ever would stop the questions. Crowds saw the aberration denounced to the world as a self-proclaimed Witch. As the Witch was paraded through town en route to be burned, hanged, drowned, stoned or disposed of in various other forms of Christian love all created to free and save her soul from her depraved body, the jeering crowds viewed the results of hours of torture. The face bruised and broken by countless blows bore a hue of sickly green. The once warm and loving smile gone replaced by a grimace of broken teeth and torn gums that leers beneath a battered disfigured nose. The dishevelled hair conceals bleeding gaps of torn scalp from whence cruel hands had torn away the lovely tresses. Broken twisted hands clutched the wagon for support, fractured fingers with nails torn away locked like groping claws to steady her broken body. All semblance of humanity gone this was truly a demon, a bride of Satan, a Witch. I revere this Halloween Crone and hold her sacred above all. I honour her courage and listen to her warnings of the dark side of man. Each year I shed tears of respect when the mundane exhibit their symbol of Christian love.

Author: angel © 6-26-99Petals & Thornspoetry by angel © 1993 - 1999

The Archives of My Life

Merry Meet Friends and Lurkers:



So, I know I bitched and whined about those rat bastards at AOL closing the Journals. Hey, I had a right to bitch and whine! I've been a loyal customer since 1996 and paid tons of money to use their service when in fact, there were obviously much cheaper. Yes, I've had ulterior motives, but hey, that's not the point!!! I've spent countless hours, researching, reading, typing and...um, well, never mind. Let it suffice to say that I and others that will remain forever nameless, by sheer will, passion and determination, have kept AOL in business. OK, I'm exaggerating, but still....


So enough complaining. I have since forgiven AOL for being notorious rat bastards and the reason for this act of generosity is that, as of two days ago, they successfully "imported" all my previous AOL blog entries into this new venue! That was a pretty nifty trick, I gotta tell ya. I'm quite pleased that the transition itself was relatively simple. More importantly though, aside from putting alot of myself into those past entries, I also posted some of my own photos that I was unsure if I would still be able to save. The archives are located on my profile page under, "Everything She Does AOL Archives. As if you wouldn't have guessed!


That being said, if you're interested in reading about some of the stuff I've been up to since back in the day, feel free to peruse my archives!



In darkness, light!





Tracy



Disclaimer: If you happen to recognize yourself in something I've written, it's either purely coincidental or you have a really guilty conscience!

Here's the 411 on 411

Merry Meet Friends and Lurkers!

I have to say that yesterday I experienced something quite disturbing. I was trying to find a number in Paramus, NJ which I believed had two listings. I dialed 411 and got an operator in Bangladesh. This is how the conversation went:

Me: :::dialing 411:::

Operator: City and State?

Me: Paramus, New Jersey

Operator: City and State?

Me: Paramus, New Jersey

Operator: Can you spell that please?

Me: P-A-R-A-M-U-S

Operator: What listing?

Me: PetSmart

Operator: What listing??

Me: ::::tapping pen on desk::: PetSmart.

Operator: What city?

Me: Paramus, New Jersey

Operator: Is that P-I-R or T.A.R?

Me: It's Paramus. P as in Peter-A as in Apple-R as in Robert-A as in Apple-M as in Mary-U as in "you should friggin know how to spell this (no I didn't)-S as in Sam.

:::listening to my co-workers snickering in the background:::

Operator: What listing?

Me: ::as slow and controlled as possible to avoid head exploding:::

I....am....trying....to....reach....PetSmart...in Paramus, New Jersey. P-A-R-A-M-U-S!

Operator: Are you spelling it correctly?

Me: ::::slamming pen on desk:::

:::Insert sound of keyboard clicking:::

Me: Googling "PetSmart" in Paramus, New Jersey. Approximate time: 30 seconds.

Operator: I'm sorry, there is no listing for that location in New Jersey.

Operator: Can you spell that again please?

Me: Nevermind, I have got!

::::insert sound of phone slamming:::

:::insert sound of my co-workers laughing their asses off!::::

I could have friggin' walked to PetSmart and got the phone number faster!

When the unemployment rate in this country is at a 5 year high of 6.1%, why we are outsourcing to people in other countries? There may be other occupations that are more suitable for outsourcing but when I call 411 for information in New Jersey, I expect to reach someone that not only has a working knowledge of the English language and who, oh I don't know.. actually knows that Paramus exists and it exists in New Jersey.

Sheesh! I hope 911 isn't next!

Get Up Off Your Ass

AND DANCE!!!!!

Merry Meet Friends and Lurkers (and I do know who you are :)

One word! Zumba!!! What???? You've never heard of Zumba???? Ok, well firstly, it's pronounced Zoomba" and what it is, is a workout system that fuses international rhythm and dance and that turns every workout into a party!

Let me tell you how I discovered Zumba. About 6 months ago, I was lifting weights about 3 days a week and running about two miles on the treadmill on alternate days. Yes, it was definitely an effective workout, but it also had become mind-numbingly boring. Not to mention that I injured my shoulder, got a stress fracture in my foot and my hips ached on a daily basis. There just had to be a better way!

One morning, I dragged myself into the gym, dreading the idea of working out, when I overheard one of the group fitness instructors talking about a new class that was being added to the schedule. Well, I NEVER take the classes at the gym. Not that there's anything wrong with them, but I always felt that you couldn't really get a great workout in one an hour a day. Ok, so now I'm eavesdropping, and I'm hearing the word "dance". Wait a minute!!! I absolutely love to dance!!! I decided at that moment that I would give it a try. Well, all I can say is that I haven't missed a class since!!! I'm currently taking Zumba classes at 4 different facilities. As for not being able to get an effective workout in an hour, well, I hate to admit I'm wrong, but in this case I am thrilled!!!

Finally, while perusing one of my Zumba instructor's websites and I noticed that an instructor's workshop was being taught in our area by Tanya Beardsley, who is an internationally known Zumba Specialist (that's Tanya in the video) and I thought to myself, "Self, you can do this!". Just to reaffirm though, I ran the idea by a couple of my instructors who told me in no uncertain terms that I "had" to become an instructor!!!

I have to confess, at 40 something years old, I was a bit trepidatious. I kept envisioning myself walking into a group of 20 year-olds and making a complete and utter ass of myself or alternatively dying on the dance floor. I quickly put those thoughts aside when I realized that not only were there 20 year-olds, but 30, 40 and 50 + year olds as well!!! Well, to make a long story short, after dancing for 9 hours, I am proud to say that I am a certified Zumba instructor!!

All I can say is, if you're looking for a workout that's fun, easy and effective....Get Off Your Ass and DANCE!!!!!

Things That Keep Me Up At Night...

Merry Meet Friends and Lurkers!

So, several nights this summer, we were awakened to a sound that I can only describe as "other worldly". Ok, I'm lying. I can also describe it as, "eerie, weird, and creepy". Let's leave it at this, it's a haunting sound that just isn't human. No, I'm not dreaming! My husband, Ray has heard it too, as has the supermarket cashier, who is convinced it's an evil spirit come to warn us of some impending catastrophe. I haven't heard from my next door neighbor thus far, but I'm anticipating a knock on my door any time now. She already believes that we are "invoking demons" during our rituals, so I'm sure I will be held responsible for what ever it is that's keeping us awake.

Many a night, I've gotten up at 3 a.m., wandering around in the backyard, trying to see if I can introduce myself to the "something" that can't seem to sleep and is hell bent on making sure we can't either. I gotta tell ya, not many things in this life freak me out anymore, but being alone, outside in the dark, in the middle of the night with the little fuuuu...little creature who is making that sound is down right unnerving.

If you've ever seen the movie "My Cousin Vinny", there's a scene where Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei are sleeping in their car in the middle of the woods. They are awakened to a blood-curdling screeching noise that turns out to be a Screech Owl in a tree. At first, that's what we suspected, but the sound is coming from ground level, it's definitely not a bird.

This morning, again around 3 a.m., we were awakened to our dogs, shaking and barking like maniacs, fur standing on end! The windows were open and there it was again! What is that?!?!? I thought about going outside again but, fuck that! If the dogs were scared, who am I to be a hero!

But, I HAD to know!!! So this morning, I've spent the last several hours "googling" animal sounds. Did you know that there are pages and pages devoted to the sound that a groundhog makes during mating? Hey, ya never know what some people are into! In any case, I think I may be on to something...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk1mAd77Hr4

Phew! That's a relief! I hate invoking anything I can't banish!




In darkness, light!

Tracy

Welcome To My Insanity!!!!

Happy October!!!!

If you're reading this (and I know you are) I suspect you've received my message that AOL will be closing their journal as of October 31st. I was clearly annoyed. That being the case, my first task this a.m. was finding a new and comfy place to share my musings and I believe I have!

Welcome to my new home, Friends and Lurkers!!!

In darkness, light!


Tracy